Betrayal of the body

My skin feels like it’s ready to come off. I’ve dealt with many different health and sexual issues, but this is different.  I thought giving up the desires of the flesh was hard, but this is WOW! Every muscle and joint hurts, don’t feel like myself and nothing soothes the pain. The confusion in my mind sets in like a wave coating the sand only retreating for a short time to return. A low grade fever is raging war and there is no blanket of warmth that surrounds me. The right side of my body fails me as I wake up in a pool of my own sweat nightly. No more being held by my loving husband. Bruises come and go in the oddest of places. Doctors that I’ve seen in the past have no clue and it makes me give up on going. I know they practice medicine, but practice giving me some answers. I’m not a pill popper, so don’t throw them my way without an explanation. I’m frustrated and don’t want to be a burden of my family, so I strap on a smile and push through my day. I pray and ask God for answers and He’s been silent. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be learning. Patience? Endurance? Trust? Humbling ones self? Perseverance?  No one can even imagine the pain I feel daily. Well, maybe you can??  I don’t look like what I experience or do I?  I’m clueless on what I’m supposed to be learning from God at this moment and I’m starting to think it’s supposed to be this way until He’s ready to reveal it to me. I search the Internet for answers, but just maybe I’m supposed to search Him and His word?? Yes, thank you Holy Spirit for the divine direction. 

Join me as my journey continues………
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.   Romans 12:12 NIV

For my own name’s sake I delay my wrath; for the sake of my praise I hold it back from you, so as not to destroy you completely.  See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.    Isaiah 48:9‭-‬10 NIV

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s